Track Diary: "tailspin" (ft. Video Age)

Collaboration, trust, and telepathy

I’m preparing to leave my house for a month: two weeks of pre-production in New Orleans and ten days in Nashville at the hallowed Bomb Shelter. My fifth album, but this is my first time in a real studio. I am up to my ears in planning. I’m nervous and excited with anticipation. I know that my mindset for this record will make or break it. If I’m unsure of the band, the process, or the songs, I will make an unsure album.

If I believe in my collaborators, my choices, and myself, I will make a believable album.

So I'm packing, stressing, and trying to get my mind right by meticulously organizing my suitcase for the third time when my manager, Tony, calls and asks me a question.

Do you think you might have one more pop song for the album?

I’m horrified. I have so many songs! I’m leaving tomorrow! How could I find the time? But his question stays with me, and I can not shake it. I start to get less mad and a little curious. I know I have written my darkest album yet. Every song felt like an extraction. Some felt like a purge. Was there any pop levity to be found?

It’s now 9 a.m. on my departure date, and my van is packed. I kiss my boyfriend goodbye. I swing by his mom’s house and give her a hug. And then I set off for the two-day drive to New Orleans.

tailspin, and my heart is freaking for you

Two crows on the roadside looking like doom

Two days on the highway, solo drive

Today is the greatest day of my life

Oxford dictionary: Tail·spin

verb: become out of control.

Photo by Megan Karson

Production notes: tailspin was the last song to arrive, and it’s a true co-write. For each fragment I wrote, I created a voice memo to send to my producer, Ross Farbe (Video Age), who would kick back a slightly tweaked version. We did this for two weeks until we arrived at the studio. Looking back, I can see that co-writing with Ross helped solidify the tone for the session: collaboration, trust, and telepathy.

Santa Fe is 7,199 feet above sea level, so whenever I leave it feels like I’m rolling downhill. In summary, this song is about letting go of the illusion of control (mindset!) and returning to my beloved New Orleans community and friendships. I love how this song turned out. Our little emo song, hence the little “t”. Thank you, Tony, for the push.

Album pre-production with Kunal Prakash, Gina Leslie, and Howe Pearson, and Ross Farbe. Photo credit Megan Karson.